I'm not really sure what hit me tonight. On some level, I suppose it was a panic attack. Definitely fatigue driven. I suddenly felt the need to have noise in the room. I put on Ted Talks and streamed from one to the next.
In these moments I trust my brain, heart, soul to guide me. I picked up my sewing and listened to inspirational speakers tell me how to succeed and to hang on to creativity. Did it help? Well, it didn't hurt.
Moments like these come during the course of any long term goal. Self doubt. Fatigue. Escapism. All, very normal. I hate being normal, don't you? I want to be the super woman who forges through with an assured plan for success.
Ya, no, it's not me either.
But I didn't quit. I stopped pushing and just held my ground for a little while. Rest is important for any goal to succeed. I'll call it good.
When moments like this come for you, stop. Listen to what your still small voice is calling for. Meditate. Pray. Sing. Dance. Read. Sleep. Scream.
I gave it a little time. Then I let out 3 or 4 really good anguished screams. Not so loud as to alarm the neighbors. Then moved on with life and the plan.
I didn't make ground, but I didn't lose any either.