I knew it had been a while, I didn't realize how long it's been since I visited my old friend.
So much has happened, is happening; grab some coffee, sit a spell.
It has taken time to find my way out of the darkness. There's more light days than dark now. I'm glad I held on to hope when it was the other way around.
I'm often asked how I did it, how I got through the hard times. I wish there was a check list of things to help others get through their darkness, but there's not. Sometimes you have to shuffle your feet to keep your balance. Sometimes you have to take bold steps to get over a crevasse. Sometimes you just have to stand still and let the raging water pass in front of you. There's not a right answer, or even one answer. Just keep moving forward to find your light.
Recently, I was given $5. There was a tie in a raffle and I picked a hand to choose a winner. The winner was so pleased, he gave me $5 of the winnings. My first reaction was that I couldn't take it. He was a young student, certainly he needed it more than I did. Then I realized that I would be stealing his joy if I didn't accept it. So I thanked him and got to enjoy his beaming smile. I remember being in a spot of not being able to bless the people who blessed me. Now I was in the place of giving, but not knowing how to receive without it being in humiliation. So I am learning to be honored by the gifts I receive. Honored that someone thinks enough of me to give me a gift of time, craft, or even money.
Darkness may not always be evident, but it doesn't mean it's not there. But there is, also, still hope to shed light on those places.
I am very happy to tell you I had another poem published. This one is in the June 2017 issue of Peeking Cat Poetry Magazine. http://peekingcatpoetrymagazine.blogspot.com/ I hope you'll go download it and enjoy the words.
It was recently discovered that I have an extremely low B12 store. It seems that if there is a kind of anemia, I'm going to experience it. The weariness and depression associated with this ailment sent me into a dark place that it took happenstance to get me out of. Sometimes you have to stand still and hope for a lifeline. Mine came in the form of checking for one ailment and finding another. With the B12 shot on board, I'm good to go spread light to the world.
Which brought me back to this old friend. I promise I won't wait another year to come around. I hope you'll share this light and you'll leave a comment. I love hearing from you.
Hold on to where you are, hope is there, even when you can't see it.
Peace, Love, and Peanut Butter cookies for everyone.