2017 was a great year for me. There were some dark spots in the path, but most of it was filled with light and hope. I made this list for an application, and I thought it would be good to share it. Five years of clearing the path to make my dream come true has led me to....more work to clear the path. But I've learned a lot about paths and built the muscles for clearing. So I'll forge on until I get there. Yesterday I tried to convince myself that my voice just wasn't important. Then a memory from 5 years ago popped up on Facebook, it reminded me of a friend who encouraged me to take this fork in the road. But more than that, the one "like" it had was from my dear cousin who passed away a few weeks ago. It was heart wrenching, but inspiring, to remember the faith she had in my words. Over the last year my writing has been called cliche by one and comforting by another. My voice isn't for everyone, but it's for someone. I hope you all find the voice that comforts you. If it's not me, peace be yours until you find the right one. If it is, welcome. Pull up a chair, I'll get some coffee. Enjoy the poetry, let me know what touches you.
As 2018 gets a rolling start, I wish you hope. It is a single match, but it pierces the darkness to guide you to light.

2018 is starting off great! If you're in the Ballard area, I hope you'll come hear me read.
https://www.thestranger.com/events/25680436/its-about-time-writers-series

Publication History

Poetry:

“Unseen Moment”; Whidbey General Hospital, Nurses News; 2015 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQaMjUNhRy0&t=17s

“Iridescence” (Third Place) and “Tell Your Love Story”; Timeless Pearl Poetry Contest 2016 https://www.timelesspearl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/poems_about_pearls_2016.pdf

“Needlepoint”; Westward Quarterly; Fall 2016 http://www.wwquarterly.com/wwq_archive/wwq_2016-4-fall.pdf

“Cleansing Tears”; Peeking Cat Poetry Journal; Spring 2017 (Issue 26) https://peekingcatpoetry.co.uk/issues

“Automatic Bill Pay”, “Great Lakes”, “Investment Lessons”; Writing In A Women’s Voice Blog; 2017  http://writinginawomansvoice.blogspot.com/

 “Spit and Grit” (First Place); Timeless Pearl Poetry Contest 2017 https://www.timelesspearl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/09/2017-timeless-pearl-poems-about-pearls.pdf

“Quiet Sighs Whisper on the Wind”; Whidbey Weekly; August 2017 https://issuu.com/whidbeylocal/docs/9.31_august_3__2017-web

“Karma of Encouragement”; 3^rd Act Magazine (Oshi Publishing, LLC); Fall 2017; Pushcart Prize Nominee https://issuu.com/3rdactmagazine/docs/magazine

“Abnegate”; Right Hand Pointing/One Sentence Poems; Winter 2017 http://www.onesentencepoems.com/osp/?s=Laura+Tarasoff

Pending Publication:

“Incessant”, “Fear of Losing Inner Self”, “It Was A Day”; Wraith Infirmity Muses

Guest Blogs:

Hedgebrook Newsletter, “A Love Story of True Voice”; December 2013 http://www.hedgebrook.org/?s=Laura+Tarasoff

Writer-ly; Conference blog 2015 (This content is no longer on-line. Copies are available)

Trish Hopkinson, A Selfish Poet Blog: 2017 https://trishhopkinson.com/2017/08/27/someone-needs-your-voice-guest-blog-post-by-laura-tarasoff/

Personal site:
Poetrybytheshot.wordpress.com with the amazing Woodzick.

Writer's Digest Poetry Month:
http://gowrite.me/pad.pl?writer=Laura+T++%2832%29&day=&q=Full-text+search


I hope you find something that touches your heart. I hope there is a light of hope in your darkness.

I knew it had been a while, I didn't realize how long it's been since I visited my old friend.
So much has happened, is happening; grab some coffee, sit a spell.

It has taken time to find my way out of the darkness. There's more light days than dark now. I'm glad I held on to hope when it was the other way around.

I'm often asked how I did it, how I got through the hard times. I wish there was a check list of things to help others get through their darkness, but there's not. Sometimes you have to shuffle your feet to keep your balance. Sometimes you have to take bold steps to get over a crevasse. Sometimes you just have to stand still and let the raging water pass in front of you. There's not a right answer, or even one answer. Just keep moving forward to find your light.

Recently, I was given $5. There was a tie in a raffle and I picked a hand to choose a winner. The winner was so pleased, he gave me $5 of the winnings. My first reaction was that I couldn't take it. He was a young student, certainly he needed it more than I did. Then I realized that I would be stealing his joy if I didn't accept it.  So I thanked him and got to enjoy his beaming smile. I remember being in a spot of not being able to bless the people who blessed me. Now I was in the place of giving, but not knowing how to receive without it being in humiliation. So I am learning to be honored by the gifts I receive. Honored that someone thinks enough of me to give me a gift of time, craft, or even money.

Darkness may not always be evident, but it doesn't mean it's not there. But there is, also, still hope to shed light on those places.

I am very happy to tell you I had another poem published. This one is in the June 2017 issue of Peeking Cat Poetry Magazine. http://peekingcatpoetrymagazine.blogspot.com/ I hope you'll go download it and enjoy the words.

It was recently discovered that I have an extremely low B12 store. It seems that if there is a kind of anemia, I'm going to experience it. The weariness and depression associated with this ailment sent me into a dark place that it took happenstance to get me out of. Sometimes you have to stand still and hope for a lifeline. Mine came in the form of checking for one ailment and finding another. With the B12 shot on board, I'm good to go spread light to the world.

Which brought me back to this old friend. I promise I won't wait another year to come around. I hope you'll share this light and you'll leave a comment. I love hearing from you.

Hold on to where you are, hope is there, even when you can't see it.

Peace, Love, and Peanut Butter cookies for everyone.

Laura

Mountain Peak

Climbing to a peak takes training and hard work before the actual climb. There are a scrapes and slides along the way to success. When the time comes for the actual climb, each day is it's own success. It's been a long time coming up to this moment, this first camp on the bigger climb.
    It is with great excitement I announce that for the first time I have had a poem accepted for publication in a national magazine.
    My poem, "Needlepoint" will be in the Fall 2016 issue of Westward Quarterly Magazine.
   
   It is available at www.wwquarterly.com .

   I hope you enjoy the poem. I hope you find your own hope for whatever mountain you're climbing. Thanks for sticking with me this far, on to the next summit.


   

If you can't be nice, go to your room until you can

I grew up being told everyone puts their pants on one leg at a time. Treat everyone the same. Respect everyone. Don't be mean to anyone. You never know what someone is going through until you've walked in their shoes. And to do unto others what you wanted done unto you, not that would be done unto you.

I try to practice this philosophy towards all people. This can make me a bit of an odd duck. I work in a hospital. I treat the environmental services people the same as the surgeons. Everyone gets a smile, a kind word, a pat on the back, or a kick in the pants; whatever they need that moment.

If I could be called insensitive to anything, it would be that I believe if we would all work harder to simply treat everyone with kindness the media wouldn't be able to manipulate situations. I'm kinda naïve in thinking we all really can get a long.

Recently a new employee came into my work space and I was nice. Shocking, I know. We exchanged what I have always known as niceties. What's your name, where you from, etc. In the coming weeks, I did what I always do; got to know more about the person. One day someone else was in front of that employee and I did what I do, "How's your summer going? Kids ready for school yet?" Simple niceties. The new person stepped up, I asked a question and he stopped, looked at me for a moment, and smiled and answered.

You see, I'm a 50 year old, white woman standing behind a lunch counter and he's a younger, black man earning an advanced degree. He was a hard shell to crack, but it finally happened. He realized that I wasn't afraid of him. I wasn't patronizing him. I wasn't trying to have a token black friend. Our worlds grew a little better.

I have lived places where black lives didn't matter. I have lived places where poor lives didn't matter. I have lived places where military lives didn't matter. 

Those places will never live in me.

Dr. King said he wanted his children to be judged by the content of their character. That is the standard I live by. He did not say he did not want his children to be judged. An important reminder that there must be a standard of excellence.

Muhammad Ali said, "I pity the poor fool", so do I.
Okay, out of context, but it works so well!
Respect the quality of character, pity the fool.

1 Corinthians 10: 23-33 Tells us that all things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. It reminds us that sometimes it is better to put ourselves aside.


There are a lot of "I's" in this blog. My hope is that my experience will remind people that you just don't have to work so hard. Be nice to people. All people.


When a child is bored, read them a book about far away places. Plant a dream of a peace filled world.

Peace, Love and peanut butter cookies for everyone!

Thankfully exhausted

You don't have to hate your job
to wish you didn't have to go to work.
To want to go home,
Having someone to go home to
A home to go to
To love your life
More than your paycheck
To be responsible is right
Wanting to bound out the door
Doesn't mean you hate what you do
Enjoy your life, without guilt
You don't have to hate your job
To wish you didn't have to work.

 

Trying

   Trying is, well, trying.
    It's easy to say things like "don't change for anyone" and "you're true voice is important" to someone else. When I have to convince myself, it's another matter all together.
    I have a goal that I have come to realize can't be achieved from my current position. So I have to change myself to achieve my goal. But then I risk losing my true voice. Which could be a better voice or not. So do I keep putting myself, as I am, who I am, out there? Do I continue to risk rejection? Or do I change to fit in to get in? Or do I buck the whole system, and do the whole thing independently?
    Is anyone else confused?
    Am I bitter? Bitterness is a petty emotion, based on things being decided by others that cause a less than positive outcome for one. Hmmm, nope, not bitter. Not angry.
   Maybe disappointed, I could work with that one. Confused, okay, not so much. I knew I was going up against an established practice that is not accustom to being, well, ordinary.
   Pissed off, yup. At who? Oh, well, hmmm. Myself, I guess. Why? For being so naïve to think that I could be enough. But that's what hope is, right? Fine, my own theme bites me in the backside.
 
    So ends my pity party. Besides, the popcorn's almost gone.

  There are so many disappointments to face. Some are huge, some are small, some are what they are.
Some are deep wounds that change the course of your life. They become the scar that everyone sees, no matter how much you try to hide it. Some are so small, there's no understanding why we give them any time at all, but we keep giving them center stage. Some are disappointing. We accept them for what they are and hope good comes out it. Once the ice cream hits the pavement, all we can do is hope the ants enjoy the treat.

    I don't know what I'm going to do next. But there are a few things I am sure about.
1) I am good enough for this moment. I can improve, as a mater of fact, I hope I never stop growing and improving.
2) There are options, so this is not a dead end street. And if it were, I'd just have to back track to a cross road.
3) The expiration date on microwave popcorn is a real thing to be paid attention to.

   What I'm trying to say. What I'm trying to show. What I'm trying to tell you is, well,

Trying is trying, so keep trying
   
Peace, Love and Peanut butter cookies for everyone (because stale popcorn is not good)

Don't wait to be your truest you

Sometimes I think about burning my old journals

So that when I die no one has to deal with them

And so no one will read my truest thoughts

Perhaps thinking less of me

When they thought I was so strong and good

Then I realized that those words are, in fact,

My truest feelings and actions

At the best and the worst moments of my living

They show that I was struggling

When people thought I was fine

They show that I was humbled

When people thought I was proud

They show that I was broken hearted

When they thought I was healed

And I wondered

Why hide those words from them

When I die

Perhaps those words will inspire them

To get through the next struggle

They will see that I laughed

When there was much to cry about

They will see that I was proud

When there was still much to be humbled by

They will see that will see my healing

When there was so much breaking my heart

Then I wondered,

Why am I waiting to die

For people to know my truest self